Put down your Christmas themed drinks and take off your ugly holiday sweaters, folks. The much-dreaded finals week is officially upon us. That means days and nights full of hours of last minute cramming, energy drinks, and ordering delivery pizza at 2:30 am (if you're lucky enough to have started studying yet). Because no real college student has the will power to truly start studying when they should.
Dealing with finals is a long process full of many emotional lows. Here are the seven stages of finals week grief, as told by food.
1. Ignorance
Just like how you think froyo isn't real ice cream so it can't be unhealthy, finals are two weeks away and you don't even know when your exams are. Why not go to that holiday party? It's Christmas season!
2. Denial
Did you just watch Netflix for five hours, nap, and watch again? It's alright, finals week is still so far away...
3. Panic
Maybe watching "Lost" in its entirety wasn't the best idea. There's only one weekend left before exams, why not make it count? Let's, uh, party?
4. Guilt
Why did you go out last night? Why did you watch so much Netflix? Why are you eating so much candy? Will candy make your finals go away?
5. Anger
Your life is over. You're going to fail, and it's all because you're still watching Netflix. Might as well be in shape before you flunk out. Let's pump some iron, bro!
6. Depression
You think there's no way you have enough time left to properly study. Maybe you'll find more at the bottom of that tub of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.
7. Acceptance
Well, it's finally time to study. Stop looking at Snapchat stories, grab your coffee and head down to the library. Pull out your books and finally be the student your parents think you are (sorta). Then hibernate for all of winter break.
Good luck, all you brave souls.